The way I express myself best is usually in the talk zone. However, before I even get to the talk zone, I am formulating a thousand ideas at any one time in the think zone. My thoughts are like little ants made mad by the heat running back and forward in the sun. Occasionally though, these thoughts get themselves in order and form a very uniform regiment, marching in a very straight line, towards a very specific destination. But this is unusual.
The talking which starts as thinking kicks off in my brain...usually as soon as I get up.
OOh, sunny day, wow gorgeous view...oooh, why is the world beneath my feet a bit crusty...should vaccum...will do that later...hmm and why did my partner not put away his shoes...shoes...SHOES, I love shoes. Ah, *sigh* those gorgeous shoes in the Meridian mall that I keep walking past and wanting to stroke, occasionally have stroked, oops. So sparkly who could resist being lured in and then, of course, stroking.
At this point I might pause, temporarily, and realise I've made it into the hallway...but why am I here? What was the purpose of all this getting out of bed stuff again? Temporary blank, but towel which has made it into the mix, casually thrown over shoulder just so (after years of repeating this action over and over again, it is now a given, whether my thoughts are straight line or not).
Shower. Must be the point of all this. Must get in the shower. Catch a glimpse - oh ok, not so much a glimpse, more a very interested investigative stare - of myself and as usual I look just like I always do. How is it that this fact still never ceases to surprise me. For some unknown reason - and one that I don't think I have ever really given much thought to until just now - I am actually disappointed and then just as quickly, relieved every day I look in the mirror. Disappointed because there I am, exactly as I always am. Relieved because there I am, exactly as I always am.
And then it starts all over again. The thoughts. The ideas. The inner conversation that is my way of making sense of the world.
I think we all have this dialogue inside us. Some of us enjoy the conversations we strike up with ourselves. But some of us don't like the think zone. My theory on this is that think zones are like rooms you can go to check in on ideas, air out concerns and bat around a few fresh thoughts if you feel so inclined. If you are someone who is pretty much at home with themselves then I'm guessing your think zone is one that you walk into and feel instantly at home. These think spots have the welcome mat out and are pretty great places to hang out in. And having pondered this all long and hard for hours and hours as the hot water runs down the drain...to where...and ooooooh, what happens to all that shampoo-residoo...and does it really kill dolphins...*sudden guilty feeling about using shampoo* and how long have I actually been in here letting the water run over me like a virtual cloak keeping the day - so far so good - at bay...
I digress (of course - the thoughts keep coming...) so forcing a straight line on this...the pondering has resulted in this quite sensible and unremarkable insight. Basically if you are not really a big fan of you, then I imagine going visiting you is not a very pleasant experience, and like many unpleasant things, it's one of those things we would rather put off...indefinitely...preferably forever...than take a deep breath, take the plunge, and knock on the door of a place which, let's be honest here, is just not that nice to be.
But a bit like a really messy room, we might talk ourselves into the idea that it's not that bad - hey, I KNOW where everything is in here - and justify our position in our comfy, slightly stinky and desperately disorganised room - really, it's not so bad - however, when we clean it up, we feel better. Not just about the room, but about life in general.
Fresh sheets. Come on, hands up on fresh sheets. Don't know if there is anything much more FABULOUS when you are ready to crash and you turn back the blankies to the smell of clean, and the feel of fresh. It brings a smile to my face just THINKING about it!
Well, I would liken these things to the inner you. If there are parts of you that have been in the dark for a while and need the windows flung open...I say, take the time to do this and you will feel better. The think zone will be just that little more welcoming the next time, and the little voice inside that wants to talk sounds just that little more friendly. Start talking to you and listening to what you have to say...and then, you might be surprised by how this brings good stuff to the talking you do with others.
From think zone to talk zone...it's all about having a good relationship with the voices in your head.
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